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Life is a funny thing, isn't it? We start out as our original selves, full of love, full of self-worth, hopes and aspirations. Most of us start out feeling pretty confident knowing who we are and as children we are quite adaptable. Unknowingly, as we grow into adult hood we face many challenges that can shake us to our very core of being. Because all the adapting we did as children this can really catch up with us and soon we may start to think, who am I?
You might be thinking, why do we adapt our personalities? This is a great question to explore and some of the answers will be unique to you. Some of the answers will be a shared experience with others and form the very basis of what we need as humans to survive. For example, it is not unusual that you may have adapted some of your personality and behaviour to gain more approval from your loved ones and primary care givers. Because we all need to feel connected and we are quick to learn as children which behaviours we display gain us more approval, love and attention from the people who created us. As children we need our primary caregivers to keep us fed, watered, provide us with love and shelter. As children, we depend on others for our survival, we are vulnerable and would not be unable to look after ourselves completely without the help of an adult who we have an emotional bond with.
We adapt to gain what we need. We learn that if we misbehave, show too much emotion, break the rules our caregivers set then we receive less love and generally less attention. Sadly, there are exceptions to this because some people may have grown up in an environment that even when they tried their best to behave in the way they perceived their caregivers wanted them to behave, they still didn't get the attention and approval we all crave when we are children. It is a basic need and helps brain and personality development. If this is deprived from the child, they then grow into adult hood with attachment difficulty and a serious lack of self-worth. Which in turn, leave them open and vulnerable to seeking a coping mechanism. These can lean towards being unhealthy, such as drink, drugs, of other substances and addictions. Which ever the poison, the person has leaned to cope and numb the psychological and emotional pain. At the root of the issue there is the need to connect, being deprived of that connection in early life, or too much adaptation of our original personality.
All is not lost because there is a way out, a way to untangle the roots of pain, disapprovement and lack of love. Therapy. When you find the right therapist to work with you build a type of relationship with them, one that i healing and repairing. Together, you will be able to cut back the overgrown weeds that hide the path back to finding all the missing parts of yourself, The parts of you that are good enough, the parts that are the real you, the parts that create that feeling of wholeness again in your body, mind and soul. It is possible and it is my purpose as your counsellor to help you heal emotionally and psychologically. Because I care about you, your quality of life, your mental health and overall wellbeing. This is more than a job for me, it's my mission in life to remove mental health stigma and help people get back on track in life.
The counselling space I provide you allows us to explore together what has caused the problems you are facing. It's ok if you feel unsure about what could be at the root of your issues because I will notice this for you and we can look at the possibilities together. After discovering the root causes we can then create a treatment plan to help you recover.
How are you feeling right now? I understand that even being here on this website feels like a massive step, let me assure you that you are doing the right thing by taking the next right step towards caring for your mental health.
Who am I?
A little about me, I am a passionate and enthusiastic counsellor who since qualifying in 2017 has helped many adults and adolescents recover from their mental health difficulties. After my initial qualification, I went on to do my Bachelor's Honours degree in Counselling from the University of Greenwich. I pride myself in the diversity of clientele I have had the pleasure to work with, ranging from the homeless community, youth counselling mental health care, and adults with many different issues in my Private Practice. Alongside my Private Practice, I create meditation and healing music using binaural beats, isochronic tones and affirmations.
I am an Integrative Counselling Psychotherapist, who can work with the 'here and now' presenting issues with Rogerian Person Centred therapy. However, alongside this, I am skilled in Psychodynamic therapy, which allows us to explore and heal you at a deeper level which could be linked to your past and childhood. I am also skilled in CBT cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help you become aware of and change your thinking patterns.
Would you like to talk to me? We can arrange a free initial telephone consultation that lasts 20-30 mins with no obligations. See how you feel once we have spoken before thinking about arranging any future counselling sessions. Remember, your mental health is important and my hope is to be the therapist who is right for you.
I am currently providing this counselling mental health care service remotely via video counselling platforms such as Zoom and Vsee.
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